Every so often do you find yourself questioning why certain things mean so much to you and whether its ok the amount of ‘index’ you place on these things. I have had this pause for thought over the last couple of weeks. I have been asked a number of times for my thoughts and opinions on the use of technology and its application to the reforming of the UK’s healthcare system. I guess I get asked because I have a reputation in that space, even though it’s six years since I was in a frontline healthcare role. I have views too, I guess, having lived through a few organisational font, colour scheme and naming changes in my time. But is it ok to express your opinion ‘just’ because of your reputation in that field, or in reality, should you keep out of the way, as it’s no longer the space you occupy?
When you give your opinion, you take a risk on your reputation. How brave are you feeling when you are asked your thoughts, and how do you weigh up the risk of honesty versus protectionism? In a world where opinion is increasingly polarised and reactions to opinions is so much more divisive it is becoming harder to be brave.
I have been chairing a conference this week for a day and a half, with an awesome group of people in the room with so much knowledge and interest and care for our industry. Ahead of the conference, though, I expressed a worry, the usual tech-conference worry, why is almost every speaker white, over 45 and male. I had hopes that somebody somewhere would think on this and do something to try to create at least a semblance of balance. Sadly, upon arrival, it definitely was still the way it was going to be and too often has always been. Which bit of reputation do you then ‘protect’? I could have simply turned on my heel and said I am not doing the gig or do what I did and (sadly) protect my reputation and carry on with almost no call out to the issue. Can one voice make a difference? That should not be an excuse to say nothing, though, and I tried, but in retrospect, too quietly to seek to shine a light on the imbalance. As I travel home now, I wish reputation and the fear of rocking the boat had not prevented me from being a much stronger voice in that room.
When you look at the origins of the word reputation, it is linked back to the mid to late fourteenth century and occurs as a direct result of worthy opinion and “credit and esteem considered by others.” I wonder whether my reputation was damaged more by not calling out the diversity issue at the conference, or if I had literally refused to do my ‘job’ at the conference because of the issue presented to me, would that have been detrimental to my reputation? I really don’t know!
Is history a great leveller? I was part of the National Programme for IT for the NHS in the 00s. Up there, according to many commentators, is one of the great ‘failures’ of BIG IT programmes. I find myself on many occasions pointing to the success of the NPfIT, and I do genuinely believe that, and yet I wonder if that’s my ‘fight-or-flight’ bone being active to protect my reputation, or is it true and do I really believe it? I wonder if it’s the sales approach kicking in, buy in your own language and sell to the customers? What I mean by that is it is relatively easy to talk up the connectivity created for the NHS, the standards put in place, the record sharing capability, the ability to book ‘as if it’s a holiday’ and electronic prescriptions. Yet the ambition we set out to achieve was so much more! So many of us placed our reputation on the success of that programme, and now when we look back at it we can see it was a large investment to go from zero to foundational that is described as a failure because the business change element was simply not looked at and at that time business change was not as high on the agenda as what it is now
Can we steal success from the jaws of failure for no other reason than that time has elapsed?
I have had the absolute pleasure and luck of being involved in a number of different industries in the CIO role, healthcare, education, research, retail, government and now property. At each juncture, with a reflection of the level I was at, I have been able to build my reputation, and as I have become older (and maybe wiser), I have become conscious of the value I place on that reputation. But is it a value too high, and does it have too much impact on who I am and my own authenticity? This is a question that has got me worrying. The feedback loop for reputation is not like the feedback loop of a video game. You do not get real-time feedback, and there is no end in mind or a track of progress. We describe digital transformation as having no end once you start. I think building a reputation is similar; once you see it as a personal asset, it has no end to it, and yet one false turn and you are back to the start, like playing Snakes and Ladders.
In thinking this through, I wondered how much self-confidence has to do with your own perception of reputation and, therefore, how much value you place on it. Reputation makes up some (maybe even too much) of my identity, I think. I guess that’s why I index on reputation so much, because I see it as a way I build assurance and reassurance of what others see in me as a professional. My ‘self-identity’ is grounded in my achievements and the belief and trust that others demonstrate in me, whereas my ‘group-identity’ is something I can only observe from afar and only rarely get to really know the truth of. It’s hard to really know in any detailed way what others think of you, and therefore, you have to build some assumptions for yourself that you can lean on based on actions that you see, not easy if you have a failure of confidence at any point!
So, what to do? Specific to this week, I have a regret for not being more vocal about the diversity issue at the conference I chaired and going forward, I am going to push that way up my value set to try to tackle it as a personal goal. It’s not ok to simply ‘moan’ about it after the event. I need to be more active in my opposition to it being the norm.
I also want to try to define what reputation means to me and find a new way to put a value on it. I believe I can help the next generation of digital leaders build for their future, and I want to make that part of my reputation, someone who wants to help others and build for the future of our amazing industry. I want to maintain the way I am considered in the digital healthcare world, even though that’s not my place right now. To do that, I believe it is ok to have an opinion, but I need to stay constant in my knowledge of that arena by staying close to old friends and colleagues in that space. I think I can do more good than harm by having an opinion, or I hope so.
Reputation, after thinking about it for this blog, for me, is about imparting my lessons learnt in a way that others can make use of my mistakes and my successes. If I place that as my definition, then I believe its ok for me to value it as much as I do.